Saturday, January 09, 2010

10 years

How possessive can one get in a relationship?

I feel that one can only get possessive when they don't have enough trust for their other half. But as we look deeper, the matter lies with the amount of confidence they have in themselves and their partner.

They are not confident enough to say that "Oh, I don't mind my boyfriend going out with her" because they are not certain if the guy truly loves her and if she is the only one in his heart. If they have such low confidence in themselves, they ought to back out from that relationship with a happy ending instead of forcing him to a corner which will result in some nasty finale.

Lack of trust, Low confidence level = FAILED.

One very good example which happened to me.

As all of you know, Coffee and me are very good friends. Even the term friend seems to be an understatement because we were almost like siblings. I am closer to him than my own brother. He would always be there for me when I cry. He would take in every temper that I throw to him without any complaint.

Until he met this girl - A girl who sleeps around at guy's house even when they are not together. Even if there is a status, it doesn't mean that such things are necessary. As time pass by, we don't get to meet up often. We only chat in MSN/SMS because the girl wants to meet him after he books out from camp till he books in few days later. Not even a single day or minute left for any of his good friends.

Months ago, We met up with HY and Jasmine but he had to wait for her to fall asleep in his bed and told a lie later to turn up. For every request she made to coffee, It had to affect me but I told Coffee, I don't mind. "I don't mind contacting you only on weekdays when you are in camp (because shes not around), I will disappear during weekends". Although I always rebuke to his countless request from her, I know I have to obey them, so that he will not be so stressed up over friends and girlfriend, and so that we're still friends.

However today, she told Coffee, that she wants Coffee to have nothing to do with me. Not even as a friend. All because Coffee reads my blog and that makes her jealous. Isn't that absurd and totally unreasonable? I was sad, sad for myself because I wasn't able to do anything to help. Coffee was forced to a corner, he couldn't take it anymore and asked for a breakup but the girl refused and insisted that he must have nothing to do with my anymore. I called Coffee a weakling, a coward but the truth is that the girl is too demanding to please.

I am not angry at Coffee. I am sad for him. I am angry at the low confidence girl who refused to grow up, who is making him lose all his friends, and making him sad over this. I am sad at myself because the only thing that I can help him is to erase him from my life otherwise I would also contribute to driving him to the little corner.

How does it feel to lead the future without your best friend for the past 10years?

Being in a relationship doesn't make you a slave,
and a healthy relationship will not cause you to lose a friend.

If her thinking is not matured enough for a relationship,
don't continue hurting my friend.

You won't be able to love well without ample trust.