Tuesday, March 22, 2011

I hide myself pretty well

The below was drafted last Thursday and never published because I forgot all about it.

Maybeline is employed.

After idling for a month plus, I am finally employed. 'Finally' sounds wrong because I wasn't even/ haven't been looking for jobs. My initial plan was to chill and relax for half a year before taking my degree, but some 'helpful' people don't like my idea and went ahead to look for jobs for me. oh wells, better than rotting at home and growing sideways MORE, I guess.

Anyway, I met up with Elliot on Thursday. We talked about our problems. This is my first time hearing him talk about his 2 years issue. You're doing good buddy. Maybe because I am currently facing a huge problem myself so I find his issue minor.

Sometimes I really wonder, how on earth did I allow myself to be caught in such a situation. A situation whereby I am caught in the middle of a rope. My hands are bleeding from the constant struggling of trying to stay alive because both moving up or falling down seems wrong. I don't really like sharing my complete situation with anyone because they are not me, they don't feel what I feel. No one understands and I don't need anyone to judge me.

Sacrificing myself so as to not watch you fall. I know you can feel it. We're just too stubborn to f.l.g.e.w we know that things are not the same anymore.

I thought I was okay, yeah I thought.

Maybe I should just let things be this way.
Play hard, worry later.
I wish I can be someone who is less serious and cold hearted so that there will be more happiness and less sadness - enjoy everyday.

Party everyday, pa-party everyday.

I know I can never be.
I take life (my future) a little too seriously.