Monday, January 16, 2012

Show me the light

Still can't come to term that I wont be able to see Adel anymore.

Just done with the most tedious paper. Dad called to fetch me home. Mom called and asked if I want dinner. I wanted to tweet that I really love my family. I couldn't bear to press enter because family includes Adel. I really loved her. Deleted the tweet in the end because my family isn't complete now.

I am not coping well with my exams as well. I would rather spend my time on her bed, crying and missing her than to read through my notes.

One of my paper was half blank. The paper I did last Thursday.

Today was slightly better as I spent 3weeks studying for this paper.

Dad seems okay now but I know he's not. He has been talking a small amount of alcohol every night to help him curb insomnia. Mom looks okay too. But she cries when shes alone.

Me? I always cry at the thought of her or when I'm alone at home. I can't even bear to use her stuffs. She got SO GOD DAMN MUCH of brand new clothes/bags/watch. I'll always remember her running to me and showing me her new watch from her dear colleague, Josephine, who got it for her for her birthday. It was an advance birthday present. She wanted to wear it on her actual day but....

Anyway, I told my dad, if I fail any of the modules and is required to repeat the module, I'll either quit or defer school. It's too tough. It was a great blow.

Bless me.
xx